Hu

Kehidupan itu 'satu' Ada-Nya. Berarti satu itu adalah kehidupan. 

Satu bukan dalam bilangan, melainkan hu. 

'Hu atau Huwa adalah nama Allah dalam Sufisme. Secara harafiah berarti "Dia". Dalam Sufisme Hu adalah istilah lain yang digunakan untuk Allah, dan digunakan sebagai nama Allah. Allah Hu berarti "Allah, satu-satunya Dia!" Dalam bahasa Arab, Hu sebagai tambahan intensif untuk Allah, sehingga Allah Hu berarti "Allah itu sendiri." - source wikipedia

Hu adalah keberadaan, keberadaan adalah Tuhan. 

Tuhan adalah satu, satu bukan dalam bilangan, melainkan Hu.

Oneness

All things in this creation exist within you, and all things in you exist in creation;

there is no border between you and the closest things, and there is no distance between you and the farthest things, and all things, from the lowest to the loftiest, from the smallest to the greatest, are within you as equal things.

In one atom are found all the element of the earth; in one motion of the mind are found the motions of all the laws of existence;

in one drop of water are found are found the secrets of all the endless oceans;

in one aspect of you are found all the aspect of existence.

 -Kahlil Gibran

Dengan mempelajari diri, sesungguhnya anda sudah mempelajari Keberadaan. Dengan menyelami diri, anda sudah menyelami Tuhan. Dengan mengenal diri, anda mengenal Allah. -Anand Krishna

Apa istilahnya? Rangkuman? dari apa yang sudah dibaca, mumpung terlintas di otak, mumpung belum lenyap dan terlupakan. 

Selamat malam.

Nate.

confusion

There was once a boy who would sit silently in the corner of the class, people tried to talk to him but he always answered their questions with odd mumbles.

People thought he was strange and weird, the boy thought people were unreal and faded.

His look at world was like a fusion between black and white, mostly in gray.

Every night, he would go to sleep and said ‘good night’ to people who once he thought as his parents. His parents would ignore him as usual, his mom stood by the sink and his father’s eyes locked on tv.

He went to sleep. And he opened his eyes.

With a big grin on his face he was saying ‘Hi’ to everyone , when walked in the corridor of his school.

It was an art lesson so he grabbed his brush and it felt as solid as it can be. He moved his brush on the canvas, the blue colored canvas changed into deep water and bubbles of air.

He breathed hard and thrown his head out from the water, he was swimming, he must’ve be.

He was in the middle of championship or something, his hand held the trophy and he saw his name engraved on it so he threw the trophy on air, the audiences applauded him.

He was in a full colored world. And the people were real and solid.

He could see the sky were clear blue in the morning and turned into dark orange on twilight.

There isn’t any gray, the only gray was his pair of eyes. 

And he hated it every time he looked onto the mirror.

He said another ‘good night’ to another parents of him, and his parents would looked at him and said a good night with big smile on their faces. But he can’t sleep, he feared his dreams, he feared a nightmare will haunt him again if he fallen asleep.

He opened his eyes, and starred at the dusty ceilings on his room.

He ate a bitter breakfast while blankly starred on his mom’s back. All he could see was vagueness.

Another gray world, it was blurry and exhausting.

He was mumbling, ‘I’m tired, I want to wake up, let me wake up, let me wake up.’

He woke up in another colorful world, with a colorful mom, dad, and friends. 

Nothing felt wrong, everything went perfect and he felt fine and healthy.

Thou he was feeling energetic all day his eyes forced to closed itself, and so another nightmare came with it’s dark gray atmosphere.

He wondered which one was the real deal. He believed his reality was colorful, and these plain gray was all nightmares. He couldn’t find what was wrong with himself, why he kept on having nightmares? 

Why couldn’t it stop?

He had a perfect life, and the nightmares ruined it all.

As he woke up in his perfect life he searched on everything that might be the cause of his nightmares. 

He searched for a ‘hole’ on every moments in his life but things were swiftly changing, he jumped here to another as he could felt himself flew. 

He tried to look at the watch as he never did before because he was afraid time went too fast and he needed to sleep, but watches pointed at nothing and it kept on spinning.

He couldn’t find anything and was feeling desperate he started questioning himself. He touched stuffs around him and it felt apparent, but when he tried to touch his own skin he couldn’t feel anything. He frightened.

Something was wrong, ‘something in me must haven’t belong to this world!’ he cried on his mind.

He rushed searching a mirror, when he found one he saw his reflection starred back at him. He could see in his reflection he was so vivid, but then the eyes met and those gray holes were so dark compared to all the flaring colors around. He hated it. He hated those grays. It tainted his perfect life, a culprit behind all his nightmares.

Without hesitated he pulled out his eyeballs, and he could feel warm blood ran through his cheeks but he didn’t feel any pain. The gray eyes left it place, left behind another black holes in his smiled face. But he didn’t know it, he couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see himself anymore, he looked at the mirror but he saw nothing, and when he looked around he saw everything just as colorful as before.

Now, he lived in a fanciful world where he could control it as he wished, and at anytime things are unconsciously flashed or hanged around like clouds. He could fly or fall without felt pain. He could skip a time and jumped to another time. He could do anything.

And his nightmares? they’re all gone. His eyelids won’t close, because he lost his pair of eyes along with their gray filter on world, and also he lost sight of his solid appearance.

He never has to sleep anymore nor  to wake up.

--

Thanks for read it! J  When I finished writing this story I realized it kind of like ‘Coraline’ animation, I didn’t intend to make a similar story even thought it slightly remind me of it. The story based on my experience about ‘dream’(when we asleep). But somehow it turned out to be creepy in this story. 

I think, Coraline is more like a story about another dimension and the evil took a possession on you, while mine more about a lucid dream.

Anyway thank you!

With love,

Nate.

vague

I forgot how to draw as I pleased.
I did what they told what I had to do.
It wasn't a bad thing though, was it?

I'm just a bit at lost. Where did my passion go?
I supposed to live my life, not try to live a life I supposed to.
I'm not feeling happy nor upset.
I just did it and I liked, not I like it and then I do it.

My life has lost it spark.
My mind has made a cage.

If I could ask one wish.
I wish I could fly across the ocean then jump out from the plane,
as I close to the ground near to death.
The parachute open.
At one time maybe I'll realize how ungrateful I was.

Good night, a vague mind.

Nate

treak or trict

Sooo I've dreamed to celebrate Halloween in my whole years, and it finally fulfilled.

 My faculty celebrated it. yayy! And I won't miss it.

I don't know how the whole event went, because I left before the event started. I just came to peek and took some shots then left with my friends to watch movie. 

Anyway, it ain't made it less for halloween night, it was funny how people looked at you suspiciously and realized 'Ow, it's halloween!' or suddenly greeted you and said 'Happy halloween!', while you walked in the mall.

So here is the picture, it's me on the right. And for the awesome makeup of mine made by my friend on the left. :D

How I looked like Tim Burton's character in this picture. 

And, I was um.. a woman in black with teared mouth. It was a super simple costume (all thanks to the make up) I used an unused black dress and cutted the bottom skirt carelessly, a black long scarf and floral headband to covered my head.

It was fun!

I hope this kind of event will come up next year too. I know it's a western culture, but I guess it's kinda good if we (Indonesian) adapt it, for adult to take rest and have fun while exploring creativity to make costume.

Ciao! x x x

Nate

mom's

last conversation thru phone i had with my mom.
me : so ma, what're you doin lately?
mom : same old routinity. go to salon, then home.
me : are you still working on your salon?
mom : nope haha, just watching over the employees. All I do now making clothes, now I'm working three more.
me : sounds great.

And now she is on her way to Makassar, opening her new business there.
Mom, I'm glad you enjoy your life and still making progress over it.
And I'm here doing my task with love. I am such a good lover, just like my mom's.

Bapak penjual soerabi

Suatu malam, ketiga cewek bersahabat kelaperan kesana kemari mencari dimsum, risoles, pempek, dan ga ada yang kesampaian. Lalu mereka terdampar di kedai serabi, karena lapar mereka akhirnya memesan serabi sosis telor keju spesial. Dua diantara mereka bertiga sedang mengalami masa-masa galau dan bad mood, sedangkan satu diantaranya sibuk bermain dengan gantungan kelinci miliknya sembari mengganggu kedua remaja galau tersebut. Ternyata, tanpa mereka sadari bapak-bapak yang jualan serabi mendengarkan pembicaraan remaja galau tersebut yang isinya hanya mengatakan 'Aku bete! bla bla'.
Kelar makan dan bayar, salah satu bapak penjual menanyakan ke satu-satunya cewek yang tidak terkena virus bete. 'gimana serabinya? enak?'. Dengan semangat cewek tersebut mengangguk, kembali si bapak penjual bertanya 'kejunya gimana?' ternyata tadi si bapak sempat mendengar salah satu dari remaja yang sedang bad mood merutuki keju di serabinya. Lalu cewek yang ditanyai tersebut menjawab 'Enak kok pak.'

Yak, cerita diatas bukan cerpen kok, itu awal cerita gimana kami bertiga ketemu bapak-bapak penjual serabi yang ramah dan suka ngajak ngobrol pelanggannya. Dan pelanggannya sering juga orang asing, macam bule2 gitu diajak ngobrol juga wuih jadi pengen kerja sambilan disitu.
Terus beberapa hari kemudian, aku sama temenku datang lagi ke kedai serabi. Temenku nambah dua kali dan aku cuma bisa ngiler, terus ternyata di serabi yang kedua si bapak penjual sengaja bikin porsi gede biar aku bisa makan juga. (baik ya?)

Terus intinya apa sih cerita ginian? buat sharing aja sih hehehe.
Jadi, aku ikutan training entrepeneur nih di Muda Mulia.. yaaaa awalnya sih ga minat, gimana ya aku kurang suka aja kalo training training mulu ga action-action. Tapi namanya manusia itu ya bisa takabur, merasa diri udah pintar, udah cukup ilmu dan bla bla. Awalnya sih ngeremehin gitu dan mikir pasti ga beda jauh sama training yang lainnya, eh... ternyata begitu ikut training ya rontok deh itu semua pemahaman aku tentang entrepreneur.
Yang namanya entrepeneur atau business person itu ya ternyata musti jongkooooooooooook dulu dari bawah untuk membangun bisnisnya. Dari bawah banget dititis-titis (?) satu persatu, perlahan-lahan.
Ga ada yang namanya siap saji tinggal santap.
Siap saji gimana sih maksudnya? ya, mungkin dari modalnya. Kalo emang modalnya udah ada ya Alhamdulillah sok mulai aja bisnisnya. Nah, misal yang belum ada alias enol besar kayak aku, biasanya ini ya kan suka ga sabar terus pengen dapat modal secepatnya. Cara kilatnya ya utang, atau minjem papa mama sodara pacar laki suami eyang mbah tetangga. Dan ternyata di training Muda Mulia, aku yang beneran dijotos dimuka saat disampaikan bahwa yang namanya modal dari utang itu termasuk riba. Jadi modal itu beneran harus dititis dari awal banget dari kemampuan diri sendiri, ga ada yang kilat nona. Tidak ada.
'Hidup ini berat ya, mau bisnis aja disusahin.' gitu tuh aku ngomongnya.
Ada embel-embel nya pula, 'utang aja di riba in gimana mau mulai punya bisnis?'

Terus dijotos lagi.
Gara-gara baca bukunya Oki Setiana Dewi yang Melukis Pelangi, dari situ aku sadar salah aku dimana. Aku jauh dari Sang Pencipta. Aku lupa, modal itu turunnya darimana sih? bukan dari bank, bukan dari tetangga. Dari Yang Maha Memiliki lah. Lalu, aku juga lupa kalau diri sendiri aja itu udah merupakan modal paling penting yang diberikan oleh Allah SWT.
Terus jadi ingat tentang Quantum Ikhlas yang sempat aku baca, dan semua itu nyambung. Yang namanya manusia itu cuma bisa ikhtiar, hasil akhirnya di pasrahkan dan diserahkan sama Allah SWT. Udah gitu aja, simple.

Yang bikin shock lagi nih ya dari training yang aku dapetin. Trainer nya jujur banget nampar kita dengan kenyataan kalau gagal itu pasti. Hakiki wujudnya. PASTI GAGAL, di awal.
Jadi yang namanya mau mulai bisnis itu, habisin aja dulu jatah gagalnya sampai akhirnya kedapetan itu suksesnya. Trus yang namanya berbisnis itu tiap fase pasti selalu ada tantangan dan cobaan, dan hal itulah yang bikin kita makin dekat sama sang Pencipta. Karena setiap dapat cobaan bisa lari kemana lagi coba? selain ke satu-satunya pegangan yang kamu punya, yaitu Agama dan keyakinan.

Sejak itu, pandangan awal aku soal entrepeneur benar-benar rontok oleh dua kali pertemuan doang. Susah dijelasin kalo lewat tulisan, yang jelas rasanya tertampar aja dan merasa diri benar-benar udah takabur selama ini.
Alhamdulillah setiap kelar training ini enggak pernah merasa gamang, layaknya kalo habis ikut kelas motivasi atau training lain (itu kenapa aku kurang suka training, biasanya terlalu mengiming-imingi). Yang ada makin merasa yakin dan makin berkembang dalam pola pikir, ga cuma di dunia bisnis aja tapi juga untuk aspek-aspek yang lain bisa di aplikasikan. Intinya sih, apa-apa itu semua kembali ke Sang Pencipta.

Terus apa sih ini hubungan cerita ini sama judul diatas? cerita kok ngalor ngidul -___-
Jadi, tadi abis training itu aku ke kedai serabi ngobrol-ngobrol sama bapak serabi. Ternyata asyik ngobrol sama orang tua pengalaman mereka banyak, lebih asyik lagi kalo satu visi dan satu pola pikir. Ternyata jangan kira penjual serabi cuma sekedar 'penjual serabi', mereka entrepeneur sejati. Dari sekilas lihat aja kelihatan dari raut wajah mereka, cara berbicara, dan topik pembicaraan. Walaupun kedai nya kecil tapi kelihatan kalau mereka mencintai bisnis mereka, makanya rela banget merintis dari awal banget dari bisnisnya masih berupa bayi.
Mereka itu contoh nyata dari penerapan yang aku dapat dari training Muda Mulia.
Berhubung obrolan nyambung, aku juga ga ragu-ragu membuka diri dan bercerita, dari training yang barusan aku dapat, sampai ke buku-buku yang sedang dan sudah dibaca. Jarang banget aku bisa ketemu orang yang bisa jadi tempat curhat. Karena mereka mendengarkan dan tau aku lagi berusaha starting dengan modal rupiah enol besar. Dari situ si bapak mulai menawarkan bantuan akan relasi-relasinya yang juga berkecimpung di dunia bisnis,

Dari kejadian ini aku sadar kalo kita berserah diri, semua jalan itu pasti dibukakan, dan dimudahkan. Sesuatu hal yang terjadi itu pasti saling menyambung, hasil reaksi dari aksi yang telah kita lakukan. Ga ada yang namanya kebetulan atau keberuntungan, maupun kesialan. Hasil yang didapat hari ini merupakan olah pikir dan aksi yang telah dilakukan oleh diri kita yang kemarin.

Iya, ilmu aku masih cetek, masih dibagian pantatnya panci yang hitam itu loh. Tapi ini sekedar sharing, semoga bermanfaat. :)

Sekian dan Terima Kasih,

Nate.

Spoiled grown up girl

Good Evening. Hi, it's been few days after my last post, I had busy started as a sophomore. So tonight I'm gonna talk about what bothering my mind and it will be a melancholic post, hope you don't mind eh? :)

First, I want to make it clear I am a 'Mommy's girl'. Either way on my mom's side, she always have it in her mind that I am an independent grown up woman. She doesn't contact me that much when I'm away from her, she doesn't text me everyday, she never ever called me if I don't ask or I called her first, when I'm in need I'll text her asked opinion or advices and she usually replied with short message.
No, my mom not that cold-hearted toward me, she just being herself and act indifferent and believing that I'm fine in here, on the other side of the ocean. But, when I'm around her, she always accomplished all my need even though I didn't ask for it.
She is an AB blood type with her split and complicated mind. And she always surprises me with her amazing works, with her talent, and crazy creativity.

Me, as an ugly duckling keep on hoping someday, one day I could shine and become a beautiful swan princess, like my mom the swan queen. She's just like a queen, a shadow behind her king, secret behind the greatness of a king, a back up, hidden guardian, a wisdom in silence.
And I pray I'll inherit her incredible ability, every miracle she has. The long last beauty, the gentle heart, a great role model, healing ability, art and craft skill, powerful entrepreneur, a multi-talented covered with modesty.

A woman that happened to be my mom, my very best friend, my older sister, my role model.
My everything.

When I miss her, I didn't tell her, I'm praying, and hope everything will be alright. And wrote it on blog, because I just couldn't straightly tell her how I miss her.
(It was only about 4 days after parted with my mom and I already missing her so much, I guess I'm a super spoiled daughter in the whole world.)

Mother, I miss you and I love you. And I'm fine, and grateful to have you silently supporting me.

p.s : Dad if you read this, don't worry I love you too because you always in mom's side, and support her like she supporting me. Without you, she'll be broken, a half broken wing. Without you, she would never be a great mom a wife and a wonderful role model for her daughter. Without you, she would never be a queen and I would never become a princess.

Your only daughter, x x x

Nate

That boy, wander alone...

Selamat malam... Judul diatas bukan judul cerpen/novel loh teman-teman. :)
Yak, postingan kali ini pake bahasa Indonesia aja deh biar gampang dimengerti dan dipahami juga tidak disalahartikan (semoga).
Awalnya sih mau posting sesuatu yang jolly and fun themed tentang hari-hari Ramadhan yang kemaren saya alamin trus juga mau pamer August haul yang berupa make-up stuff, tapi ada satu hal yang bener-bener bikin galau pikiran dan hati terus, akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk membatalkan posting hal-hal tersebut ;| tapi tenang ntar saya bakal ngepost poto-poto narsis yang oke pas Ramadhan kemaren. :p
Sekarang bela-belain ngepost demi ngilangin rasa galau di pikiran dan hati, sampe-sampe belain batal kerumah tante buat minta makan malam, juga batal mau nginep dirumah kakak sepupu yang cewe.

Jadi ceritanya gini loh penyebab galaunya...

 Tadi siang menuju sore sekitar jam 3an gitu kayaknya, ada satu bocah datang bertamu kerumah trus itu pas kita (saya sama mama) mau pergi kerumah keluarga. Ternyata itu bocah temen adekku, temen satu santri gitu, berarti umur itu bocah sama lah ya kyk adekku 12/13 tahun mungkin.
Trus itu bocah nungguin si adek  yg udah duluan dirumah keluarga, si adek udah ditelpon buat pulang karena ada temennya tp sayang telponnya ga diangkat. So, itu bocah duduk deh nungguin di ruang tamu.Trus mama suruh makan, dia makan..  Abis itu dia diam sebentar, mungkin bosan akhirnya keliling ruang tamu trus duduk deh di ruang komputer. Karena kita udah mesti pergi akhirnya mama suruh itu bocah pulang dulu trus datang ntar aja lagi. Iseng saya nanyain mama itu bocah tinggal dimana mama bilang dia lg tinggal di tempat Kel. Bu Hamid, entah untuk sementara atau gimana saya ga nanya lebih lanjut.
Oya, Adek saya itu nyantri di pesantrennya Alm. Pak Hamid, yang meninggal awal bulan puasa kemaren. (Inalillahi wa Inalillahi rajiuun..)

Udah abis itu saya kerumah keluarga, makan bla bla, pulang lagi kerumah karena ada temen datang. Abis itu mandi dan rencananya mau kerumah tante makan lagi dan nginep dirumah sepupu. Pas lagi mandi saya merenung mikirin apa aja yang udah saya laluin hari ini, trus tiba-tiba keingat bocah temen adek yang datang tadi. Saya kepikiran, 'itu bocah kenapa ga sama orang tuanya? kenapa dia datang sendirian? kenapa dia ga ngerayain lebaran sama keluarga nya?'.
Saya sih sebenarnya ga tau si bocah punya orang tua apa nggak (semoga masih punya) yang jadi concern saya kenapa itu bocah ada ditempat lain, bukan kayak adek saya yang lagi lebaranan sama keluarga.
Mungkin emang bukan urusan saya sih, mungkin emang bocah itu keluarganya sebenarnya lagi disini. Cuma dari situ saya kepikiran berapa banyak anak-anak lain yang sebenarnya ga ngerayain lebaran bareng orangtua mereka. Antara mereka emang ga punya orang tua/keluarga atau mereka memang lagi jauh dari keluarganya. Gatau, yang jelas dari situ saya miris aja ngeliat perbandingan yang keluargaku punya sama mereka yang ga berpunya.

 

--Bagian yang ini sekedar sharing

Adek saya akhir-akhir ini minta xbox kinect, padahal dia udah punya wii. Walaupun saya ga liat bedanya diantara dua benda itu, mungkin juga karena saya ga minat lagi sama games (maklum udah gede haha) tapi adek saya ngotot xbox itu lebih keren dan lain-lain. Ortu sih belum mau kasih, mungkin mereka sependapat sama saya kalau dua hal itu gag ada bedanya, walaupun saya mahfum si adek pengen nyoba teknologi yang terbaru.
Terus saya kepikiran, dia kan anak pesantren, tinggal di asrama untuk jangka waktu lumayan lama tinggal satu asrama sama anak-anak cowok yang backgroundnya beda-beda. Semoga perbedaan itu ga menjadikan dia pribadi yang sombong ya, secara dia masih cukup beruntung dilahirkan di keluarga yang berkecukupan. Dan juga ga jadi pribadi yang penggerutu karena ga dibeliin xbox padahal sepupunya udah punya lama.
Lingkungan dia itu termasuk lingkungan yang ekstrim kayaknya, yang di satu sisi teman-temannya jauh dari pegangan materi (yang dimana menentukan makmur tidaknya keluarga mereka), sehingga semuanya setara dan sama. Satu sisi lain malah sebaliknya, kecanggihan teknologi terbaru itu udah kayak tolak ukur kualitas manusia. Saya harap dia nya cukup bijak menghadapin perbedaan dan bisa bersikap adil, ga membanding-bandingkan yang satu antara yang lain.

--LANJUT KE TOPIK UTAMA

Kalau saya sih sebenarnya hidup di lingkungan yang ga se-ekstrem adek saya alamin, lingkungan saya sih ya rata-rata sama kayak saya, melek teknologi setidaknya.
Pengalaman ketemu bocah itu yang bikin saya sadar, sehabis senang-senang dan memakmurkan diri di hari raya. Sadar kalau sebenarnya ada orang lain yang gabisa nikmatin hari raya layaknya hari raya yang bagi kita itu hari raya (belibet ya? saya juga bingung ngungkapinnya).
Maksudnya sih lebaran bagi kita itu umumnya makan-makan, dapet THR, makan-makan lagi, sungkem sama keluarga dan orang tua.
Tapi, ternyata ada loh yang ga ngerayain hari raya kayak yang umumnya kita lakuin. Misal, gabisa sungkem sama orang tua karena emang dia ga punya, atau ga dapet THR karena dia ga punya keluarga yang bakal ngasih.
Wew, kalau dipikir-pikir saya itu orang paling beruntung di dunia.

Maksud saya nulis postingan ini bukan untuk bersikap munafik berpura-pura peduli sama mereka yang tidak mampu, untuk mendapat simpati atau apalah, yang perlu simpati sih bukan saya tapi mereka yang ga mampu.
Saya nulis hal ini karena saya belum tau cara lain untuk nunjukin kepedulian saya. Satu-satunya cara ya saya menyuarakannya, mungkin diluar sana ada beberapa atau malah BANYAK orang yang sebenernya peduli tapi sama-sama diam, dan cuma bisa menangis miris dalam hati.
Kalau nggak ada satupun yang bersuara, lalu siapa yang akan tahu? siapa yang akan bergerak?.

Terus saya juga gabisa sendirian untuk membantu mereka anak-anak yang kurang beruntung, saya pengen ngajak kalian yang udah baik hati banget baca postingan ini sampe ke kalimat ini :') buat sama-sama saya menyumbang di panti asuhan di kota kita, Balikpapan. Bagi yang di kota lain juga gapapa kok mau ikut nyumbang, mau nyumbang di panti asuhan lain juga ga masalah.
Khusus untuk di kota saya, saya ngajak kalian yang hatinya tersentuh ingin menyumbang sebagian THR kalian ke Panti Asuhan (yang setelah tanya-tanya ke mama panti asuhan mana yang lebih membutuhkan biaya, tapi sayang beliau lupa namanya tapi tau tempatnya) di Karangjati, Panti Asuhan yang terhitung kecil dan masih membutuhkan banyak biaya untuk pengurusannya.
Yang mau mengusulkan panti asuhan lain juga silakan, tapi saya harus tau tempatnya karena entar saya yang bakal kordinir penyerahterimaannya. :')

Kenapa saya ngajak untuk sedekah bareng-bareng? karena sama kayak sholat, kalau jamaah itu pahalanya lebih gede, saya ga ahli agama tapi kalau soal ini tau lah.

Semoga kalian-kalian yang udah sempetin baca mau berpartisipasi, kalaupun ngga ada juga ya saya tetap akan bersedekah kok. :')

Kalo kalian kurang percaya sama saya bisa kontak saya aja lewat twitter dan tanya lebih lanjut @HRNATE atau lewat e-mail nate120394@gmail.com

Terimakasih banyak atas perhatiannya. x x x
Cheers,

Nate

MOTHER'S DAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY ONE AND ONLY MOTHER! I LOVE YOU, I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND AFTER! *hugs and smooches*
Today is my special mother's day, so today's update is special for my mother only :')
I spend my little time to update this, my mom probably won't read this. But at least I tried to make it special for my mom in here.
I put a picture of my mom, her name is Sri Anjasmara (wishing her a happy birthday, mate :D) and my little brother, Bunny.

Anyway, happy Ied Mubarak! my Allah bless you and us all. x x x

Nate

Happy Independence Day INDONESIA

Bonjour! Good morning! :D
17th August is my country independence day! since some people speculated we have to show respect to our beloved country on this special day, I'm gonna post in bilingual language, first in Indonesian then English.
Oh FYI, the reason why I'm using English in every posts is because I don't want to limit the reader from Indonesia only. I have to assume people from other countries would read this blog too, so they will understand what I'm saying. English is a global language isn't it? If mandarin was, my blog would probably filled by hanzi now. ;D

--
Tadi barusan di twitter baca twit dari @yeahmahasiswa yang mempertanyakan seberapa besar rasa nasionalisme kamu ke Indonesia? (intinya gitu deh ya) nah terus jadinya tergelitik pengen ngebahas arti nasionalisme itu sendiri, hehe. Ada yang bilang nasionalis itu ya pasang bendera merah putih depan rumah, ngucapin selamat ulang tahun ke Indonesia, lomba panjat pinang, dll.

Menurut pendapat aku pribadi ya, nasionalisme itu ga cuma ditunjukan di saat hari kemerdekaan aja loh. Nasionalisme itu adalah aksi-aksi yang kamu lakuin untuk negara Indonesia sendiri, ibaratnya saat di 17 Agustus itu lah kamu pamer 'hasil' atau lebih jelasnya prestasi dari yang selama ini kamu lakukan untuk Indonesia, negara mu sendiri.
Contohnya nih, aksi nasionalisme yang memberi dampak besar untuk negara.

Usahain diri sendiri untuk jadi orang kaya, mau jutawan, miluiner, triliuner apadeh yang penting kaya. Tapi ga cuma kaya harta tapi juga kaya hati sehingga semua kekayaan yang kamu miliki itu dibagi rata sama orang yang ga mampu. Hasilnya, ya memberantas kemiskinan. Terus kalau kamu orang kaya, kamu bisa jadi sponsor untuk para atlet-atlet Indonesia (mau jadi sponsor nyuciin baju mereka juga ga apa), dibandingkan cuma bisa komentar depan tv soal payahnya atlet Indonesia.

Kalau menurut kamu jadi kaya itu berat, ada kok aksi nasionalis yang lebih simpel dan terjangkau.Contohnya nih ya, sebagai pelajar tunjukin kelebihan kamu. Gag cuma dibidang pelajaran aja, dibidang seni, musik, lukis, desain, bahkan olahraga juga bisa kamu kembangkan dan diperlombakan di dunia Internasional.

Oke, kalau itu masih terlalu berat ya lebih baik mulai dari yang kecil-kecil aja dulu deh. Soalnya saya pribadi juga belum bisa melakukan hal-hal nasionalisme tersebut, hehe.
Mau tau aksi nasionalis apa yang bisa terus kamu pupuk dan bisa kamu petik hasilnya nanti? ga cuma untuk negara tapi juga untuk diri sendiri loh.

Yaitu. . . BERSEDEKAH.

Bingung? ga nyambung? nyambung lah. Dengan bersedekah ke orang lain aja itu udah sama dengan memberantas kemiskinan loh, walaupun dengan aksi yang hitungan nya kecil sekalipun.
Soalnya tau ga, kalau kamu ngucapin 'selamat hari merdeka Indonesia' atau 'selamat ultah Indonesia' itu sama aja kamu ngucapin ke diri sendiri dan teman-teman lain yang juga orang Indonesia, karena Indonesia itu ya perwakilan dari masyarakatnya sendiri. Ibaratnya, kemerdekaan Indonesia itu adalah kemerdekaan kita juga.
Jadi, cobalah untuk memerdekakan diri dari batasan-batasan yang kamu punya, contohnya membebaskan diri dari keterbatasan finansial dengan bersedekah.
Kalau kamu ngerasa belum pantas bersedekah karena belum punya penghasilan kamu salah besar. Justru dengan bersedekah (misal dengan uang jajan yang kamu punya deh) malahan menarik rejeki buat kamu, itu namanya hukum tarik-menarik. Hal kayak gini gausah diraguin lagi, udah dibahas oleh setiap agama tentang hebatnya efek dari saling memberi.

Bisa dibilang bersedekah itu sama aja dengan aksi nasionalis yang bisa kamu akumulasi setiap hari dan dipamerkan hasilnya 'nanti'. Selain itu bersedekah juga membantu menyeimbangkan kesejahteraan masyarakat Indonesia, menjembatani antara yang miskin dan kaya.
Bayangin aja, kalau kamu juga merupakan bagian dari orang-orang yang membantu memberantas kemiskinan, hanya dari bersedekah.

Dari hal yang kecil sekalipun bisa mempengaruhi perubahan yang BESAR.
(ps : seperti halnya makna dari judul blog aku 'little big things')

Kalo gitu kenapa enggak untuk bersedekah? ga cuma untuk hari ini aja tapi untuk seterusnya, sampai akhir hayat terus menyokong negara kita dengan bersedekah. Siapa tau, kamu bisa mamerin 'hasil' dari aksi nasionalismu ini di 17 Agustus tahun depan. ;)


-- Now for the English version :D

 Because today is my country Independence day my twitter timeline's was flooded with the same topic, and one of a twitter account said something that was catching my eyes.
He said 'So today is an independence day. Tell us, how nationalist are you.. #wonkameme'.
That simple sentence was tickling myself to talk about nationalist issue in my country. Our people usually celebrates the independence day by displaying country's flag in front of their houses, or organizing playful contest such as 'panjat pinang', 'lompat karung', followed with prizes. Some people do ceremony but I guess it is just some kind of ritual that nowadays doesn't hold any special meaning in their heart anymore.
As in my opinion, nationalist actions not only showing on the independence day, nationalism is an accumulation of actions you've done to your country. And, the 17th August it's the time when you could proudly present the 'result' of your accumulated actions.
For the example of what kind of actions you could do to refer the 'nationalism' word.
You could try to become a rich man with rich heart so you could donate half of your wealth to the needy, that way you're also help to reduce the poverty. With your wealth and richness you could do anything to help your country as an indicate of your nationalism.
 I know to become a rich man is a hard task, so I suggest if you are a student and haven't done anything worthy, why not give it a try? You could expand your skill and ability not only in education but also in art, music, design, sport, or else that you're good at. And try to compete it on International conpetition while bring along your country's name.
And if, that's still a hard task to do, I still had another suggestion  Start with simple and little action, an action that you could do daily and you could get the result somehow in the future, not only for you but also make an impact to your country.

The Action is to GIVE ALMS.

Somehow giving alms to the needy people is equally with reducing the poverty, even counted to the small pieces. Because the meaning of Independence of a country itself, referring to the independency of the people. It is our Independence day so at least try to freed yourself from the limited you had, such as in finance.
Give alms not an obligation of the wealthy people only, even a jobless student have to do that too, why? Because give alms will somehow become a trigger for your own sustenance.
It is the Law of Attraction works here, when you gave 'something' to other people, another people will give you even bigger 'something' too.
After all, can you even imagine, that you are actually one of the people that influence of reducing the poverty by giving alms to the needy?

 From little things come the next BIG things.

(note: the sentence above also the meaning of my blog's title :p)

--

AND. . . . YEAH. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, READING THIS POST! :D
I hope it help and inspired you. x x x

Nate

A peace morning with a peace mind

Good morning. How are you? :)
I have a good habit lately, not to straightly goes to sleep after having my early breakfast (Sahur). I'd keep awake until day, then I'll continue my sleep. So here I am nothing to do and got an inspiration to write my thought about young marriage. Please don't laugh or starring me skeptically, I haven't been married obviously the post only about my thought, so please be open minded fellas. ;)

First, I have a lot of big dreams, dreams that I am too embarassed to reveal it here (maybe someday I will). One of them, is to getting married at young age around 22-23 years old. I've told my parents about it and asked them to pray for me that I'll get my Mr. Right sooner or later. But, *laughs* my Dad seemed to against my will to get married too soon, I guess he doesn't like the idea of losing me that fast.
The idea itself I got it not because I haven't been thinking about it, I've been through lot of experiences that got me to this conclusion.

Marriage, was a word that sounded creepy for me. Imagine you have to hold bigger responsibility, you lost your time to serve your family and etc. Live with someone you love might be great pleasure, but that time I was too scared of commitment, living with the same person for all your life gave me a goosebumps. Up until now I am still scared of commitment, because I usually getting bored easily. Which was, the main reason why my past relationships always failed miserably haha..

And then how come young marriage interested me since I was scared of commitment?
well... because I found out that, I was scared of the commitment on being a relationship with a boyfriend.
I was scared on being too in love with someone I was in relationship with.
I was scared because I clearly knew these relationship(s) won't bring us anywhere, we'll stuck on as date couple, there is no guarantee he will pick me up as his bride in future. So, everything I had with him was useless, every sweet and loving memories will be just histories, and there was no point of having a relationship with no future ahead.
And I was scared because what I thought was love, would make me give everything to him, my heart, my time, my physical being, everything that I supposed to save it to the right person.

I decided to prepare to get married in such young age other than to keep myself away from any sins, my religion also stated it to get married rather than have an unsure relationship with opposite gender.
Double points, two in a row, I hold into my belief and I also do what my religion stated us.

Some people might said, having relationship is a way to choose your future partner in life.
You are absolutely not wrong, I won't defy it because it's your opinion and it's your choice.
As for me, relationship or hooking up or whatever it called, not so important anymore.
Maybe you thought, how could you ever find your Mr. Right if you don't first, start a relationship with him? Well, dear as in my belief, a Mr. Right won't ask you to be your girlfriend.

He will ask you to be your wife, and a mother for his child. 

That is exactly how I'll know who is my Mr. Right, and that is exactly where will I put my commitment is.


Just wish me luck to accomplish these dream, because I'll need a guardian (?) if I continue my study in UK, soon. Aamiin!

As for you who already in relationship, I give my best wishes he/she would be the one of your life.Aamiin!

This post was only for share, if any of my words are inappropiate for you, I am sorry because imperfectness are part of human being. Thanks for your time and have nice day ;) x x x

Nate

Sherlock John slash

Hi. Hello it's me again posting at the exact same time and same day. IDC, I am in the mood to write anyway ;)
I've been obsessed with Sherlock Holmes's stuff these few weeks because of their Sherlock John slash (if you wondering what it is you could search it on tumblr) Actually not only because of it, the figure himself (Sherlock Holmes) already captivated my heart a long time ago when was the first time I read their translated novels. And when the movie came out played by Robert Downey Jr. my heart exploded!
thou RDJ are too friggin hot to be a Sherlock Holmes.

And after a while, also came out the series of Sherlock Holmes from BBC. Their series captured a modern Sherlock with technology equipments such as Cellphone / laptop, played by Benedict Cumberbatch.

Hmm... what can I say about him? this british lad currently the close to perfect Sherlock Holmes (IMHO) and he handsome too just as expected from British guy, also he has deep voices match with his English's accent which could melts any girl's hearts. As Sherlock, he had this twisted personality, in the meantime he acted ignorant and selfish like kinda tried too hard to looks perfect in any sides while another time he was bursting in obvious happiness when met odd cases. He brought a feel of young and unexperienced-yet version of Sherlock Holmes.
He Called by Sherlock and his partner called by John while the movie version called by Holmes and Watson.
Here is the picture of Sherlock and his colleague John.

Oh btw, I'm gonna give you another John Watson by Jude Law's picture too, since he such a hottie :p

Anyway let's talk about the Sherlock John slash ;D
Sherlock Holmes on BBC series has grown much slasher because of the unique relationship between Sherlock and John. The John Watson in this series quite a player I must said, he got himself a several girlfriends which Sherlock intentionally offended his girlfriends by for example pretended not to remember their names (which was rare for Sherlock to did not remember names) or maybe he just thought their names were not that important so he deleted it from his mind, but first option looked more possible. He just doesn't like the idea of John having a girlfriend :D since the one who obviously taking care of Sherlock was only John (beside Mrs. Hudson - the landlady) obviously he would feel a little bit (or much) lonely if John having a girlfriend. But, screw girlfriends the one who keeps on hooking John's eyes is Sherlock!
And other than that, on John's side after the sudden appearance of the Woman, the Dominatrix Irene Adler in their life (or case). John could felt a slight change on Sherlock personality and with an obvious jealousy he keep on asked Sherlock who was it that sent several text messages with special tone (an erotic sound) on Sherlock's cellphone.
As Sherlock himself never met any woman he can't read like Irene, he obviously felt a curiousity toward ms. Adler and somehow denied any slight feeling he had over her. Which made John jealous.
It's okay dear John, while talked with Irene he was hoped to talk with you anyway ;D
 Well, that was only few hints of their bromance, those little seed of hints had been brought all the slasher expanded their imaginations wilder.

The Actors themselves didn't denying the existences of these kind of fans of Sherlock Holmes. Martin Freeman who played as John Watson in BBC series found out those slash things between his character and Benedict's on Tumblr and he showed it to Benedict who hadn't any clue what tumblr was. He showed some fan made fictional stories and some artistic arts between Sherlock and John. They're commenting how amazing these fans are, and how they must've been spent hours to made such arts. Despite how amusing these slash things could be for them, they actually appreciate it. Benedict even said he was flattered by how his fans captured his body as a perfect proportion, even though some of the pictures are bit racey.

By the way, I was hoping if BBC could put on in one episode where John search on the internet to get to know how famous they've been, instead, they found slash stuff between him and Sherlock. Then he is showing it to Sherlock which of course found it amusing and commenting how stupid those people and how their brains are the size of peanut for wasted their time to created such imagination of other people unreal sexuality appeal. And he will also call John an idiot for even noticed such thing.
I hope one of the BBC staff will read this and make it my (and other slasher) request come true :)

End of the words, my biggest appreciate for the creator of Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for made a greatest fictional character ever.x x x

Nate

Whining of old fellas

I want to share this funny past of mine. It would be a long post but I hope you will gladly read it :)
 It was happen in my late high school's time, we were about to graduate, finished exam and stuffs.
FYI, I am now a college student in Institute of Technology Bandung.

It was a rough time for me, all of unimportant high school dramas and get scorned by typical high school mates, all happened in my late high school. I was the kind of student who closed to one or two people only, I didn't like to much attention or seeking any attention.
Lets just move to the story~
ITB ( my university) and other universities too, had a new program recruitment for fresh graduate high schooler, it called 'invitation recruitment' (I guess, i don't know how they called it in English) I knew this program from my Dad.
At that time my Dad were about planning to get early pension (He was still under fourty you know?).
So, He told me I MUST SIGN MYSELF to that invitation recruitment. And FYI I knew about that program even before my school announced it. And somehow if I get accepted my Dad's company will help on pay my college, and since my Dad about to retired from his company we were put our highest hope over those program, that way my Dad and I did not have to worry how to afford my college bill since his company would pay it (we could say so) BUT IF, JUST IF I GET ACCEPTED, PERIOD.
 Then I came to my homeroom teacher asked her about the invitation recruitment, the next day she announced it to my class. Our class could sign up according to our ranks, since I was about in rank after 15 ( I don't really remember) it took a freaking long time for me and my best friend to sign ourselves.
On the last week, we still didn't have our line to sign up yet so we told the person in charged we would bring our laptop tomorrow and sign up on it, to make it done faster so other people behind us didn't have to wait any longer.
The next day was such a disaster for me, due to human error someone accidently closed or finished our class form. So, me my best friend and the rest could not sign up anymore, I was panicked and decided not to tell my parents and tried my best to find any way out. But it was hopeless for me, school couldn't open the form again because it had been done twice (finished the form).
I was almost giving up when my Dad keep on haunted me with questions, brought up about he retired from job and he possibly couldn't afford my college bill if I didn't get accepted. I felt guilty and with a bitter expression from holding my tears I told him the truth.
And he was in rage.
 Again, I told you I've done my very best to get the school to open the form once more but they rejected my request. I did not stop, I asked any teachers till they got sick of my presence in their office and told me to meet the headmaster instead. And it wasn't easy, headmaster somehow disappeared at that time.
When I finally caught headmaster at his office, I told him the accident and bla bla and how I need to sign up because I put my future on it.

Rejected, rejected, and rejected. My future on stake and they rejected it.

My dad keep called me, while I was speaking with the headmaster. And he decided to meet the headmaster himself, because he guessed the headmaster didn't understand how important this matter for us.

Few hours passed, the form was officially opened again.

I knew it wasn't easy for school to opened it for 'us' (few of student in my class who doesn't sign up yet) they had to deal with the education institutional and follow some complicated procedures. And I thanked them for their hard work, especially my science teacher who had been through lot of difficulty because of my selfish request.
Next day, my teacher via my friend announced the class that we have to re-sign up the form, could you imagine the chaos happened in my class? And they know who responsible for this and who to blame for. Me.

Yeah I know I was egoist, selfish, Self-centered, but I don't care because I was struggling for my own future and they didn't know any single thing about it. I knew they mocked me, scorned and blamed me for the chaos I made and the reality they had to work twice to fill the form. I was feeling sorry, and asked them I would gladly fill the forms for them. Then my teacher was being wise, each students had to fill the form by themselves.
They were whining, and mocking behind me (Yeah I knew) it was because they were angry and tired too. But I guess some of them way off base because they started attacking my BFF too by sending an inappropiate text, it was my fault and they don't have any right to did that to my BFF.
And their whining didn't stop right there, they boasted it up, really that was silly acts of them. And looking back then it was so funny and unimportant yet it gave me a great lesson.

Some of them talked about me virtually in the internet where people could read it and doesn't discover the truth behind it. Anyway it was hurt me the most, because they stamped on me and judged me like I was a stupid and slow poked student who doesn't gave a damn about world and dependent on my Dad like a monkey hanging to it's mom, and it was totally my fault and incapability that I missed to sign up the form.

It was in the past, I know. And it doesn't like I hold any revenge or what. I already forgive her a long long time ago. Despite her rude words and lacks of vocabulary, she just didn't know the truth and too lazy to ask me, that was it. And here I am just want to tell you a story and revealing the truth I kept on silent all of this time (only few of my friends knew it).

Time passed, and came the announcement time for who got the invitation and who doesn't.
I opened the website, and thought if I don't get accepted I would be so ashamed of myself. Because I sacrificed almost everything, and my reputation, my name had been scratched just because of it.
 And yeah,
I GOT ACCEPTED! so that was all, everything seemed so clear sky, and the tears I've been hold on for so long, overflowed. I sent my deep grateful for my only God, Allah SWT and was praising how fair my God is. My mom and Dad looked so proud and hugged me.
At that time some of my friends still couldn't accept this shocking truth, how could I accepted in ITB? they thought it was an unfair play. Well, they just didn't have a clue how hard I was struggling for this, and now I tell them. It wasn't easy, my friends.

The moral of the freaking long post is.
STOP WHINING MY DEAR FRIENDS, WHINING WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE, SERIOUSLY! GO GET YOUR DREAMS NO MATTER HOW IMPOSSIBLE ARE THEM, INSTEAD OF WHINING ON OTHER PEOPLE FAULTY, WON'T BRING YOU ANYWHERE. ;)

Thank you for spending your time reading it, I appreciate it. x x x
Cheerio, Nate.

Introducing

Hello, How are you?
Quite odd and late having a blog isn't it? while people are busy with tumblr stuff. I have to admit I don't understand how to use tumblr. I have it, but don't know what to do with it, so yeah I am one of those silent reader of tumblr.
Anyway, I'm not new with this blog thingy I had maybe thousand abandoned old blogs which I forgot their passwords. And, why I decided to made a new one? because after did blog-walking from beauty blogs to inspirational blogs and searched some sherlock's stuff on tumblr, I found this fictional blog of Dr. John Hamish Watson, here check it out John Watson's Blog (or maybe you could just Google it) run by BBC of course.
And it inspired me to made blog, which influenced the name of my blog.
Nah the name itself a bit bizzare and contained an ambiguous meaning, I don't know how you captured it but for me 'Little Big things' stand for 'Any little things happen or action you do in your present could be a big things or result in your future.' So I decided to made a blog based on my experience or whatsoever will happen in my life, or maybe it would be a beauty blogs I still have no idea, depends on the willingness of my future-self to keep writing on this virtual diary.
Thanks for reading and have a good day! x x x

Nate