confusion

There was once a boy who would sit silently in the corner of the class, people tried to talk to him but he always answered their questions with odd mumbles.

People thought he was strange and weird, the boy thought people were unreal and faded.

His look at world was like a fusion between black and white, mostly in gray.

Every night, he would go to sleep and said ‘good night’ to people who once he thought as his parents. His parents would ignore him as usual, his mom stood by the sink and his father’s eyes locked on tv.

He went to sleep. And he opened his eyes.

With a big grin on his face he was saying ‘Hi’ to everyone , when walked in the corridor of his school.

It was an art lesson so he grabbed his brush and it felt as solid as it can be. He moved his brush on the canvas, the blue colored canvas changed into deep water and bubbles of air.

He breathed hard and thrown his head out from the water, he was swimming, he must’ve be.

He was in the middle of championship or something, his hand held the trophy and he saw his name engraved on it so he threw the trophy on air, the audiences applauded him.

He was in a full colored world. And the people were real and solid.

He could see the sky were clear blue in the morning and turned into dark orange on twilight.

There isn’t any gray, the only gray was his pair of eyes. 

And he hated it every time he looked onto the mirror.

He said another ‘good night’ to another parents of him, and his parents would looked at him and said a good night with big smile on their faces. But he can’t sleep, he feared his dreams, he feared a nightmare will haunt him again if he fallen asleep.

He opened his eyes, and starred at the dusty ceilings on his room.

He ate a bitter breakfast while blankly starred on his mom’s back. All he could see was vagueness.

Another gray world, it was blurry and exhausting.

He was mumbling, ‘I’m tired, I want to wake up, let me wake up, let me wake up.’

He woke up in another colorful world, with a colorful mom, dad, and friends. 

Nothing felt wrong, everything went perfect and he felt fine and healthy.

Thou he was feeling energetic all day his eyes forced to closed itself, and so another nightmare came with it’s dark gray atmosphere.

He wondered which one was the real deal. He believed his reality was colorful, and these plain gray was all nightmares. He couldn’t find what was wrong with himself, why he kept on having nightmares? 

Why couldn’t it stop?

He had a perfect life, and the nightmares ruined it all.

As he woke up in his perfect life he searched on everything that might be the cause of his nightmares. 

He searched for a ‘hole’ on every moments in his life but things were swiftly changing, he jumped here to another as he could felt himself flew. 

He tried to look at the watch as he never did before because he was afraid time went too fast and he needed to sleep, but watches pointed at nothing and it kept on spinning.

He couldn’t find anything and was feeling desperate he started questioning himself. He touched stuffs around him and it felt apparent, but when he tried to touch his own skin he couldn’t feel anything. He frightened.

Something was wrong, ‘something in me must haven’t belong to this world!’ he cried on his mind.

He rushed searching a mirror, when he found one he saw his reflection starred back at him. He could see in his reflection he was so vivid, but then the eyes met and those gray holes were so dark compared to all the flaring colors around. He hated it. He hated those grays. It tainted his perfect life, a culprit behind all his nightmares.

Without hesitated he pulled out his eyeballs, and he could feel warm blood ran through his cheeks but he didn’t feel any pain. The gray eyes left it place, left behind another black holes in his smiled face. But he didn’t know it, he couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see himself anymore, he looked at the mirror but he saw nothing, and when he looked around he saw everything just as colorful as before.

Now, he lived in a fanciful world where he could control it as he wished, and at anytime things are unconsciously flashed or hanged around like clouds. He could fly or fall without felt pain. He could skip a time and jumped to another time. He could do anything.

And his nightmares? they’re all gone. His eyelids won’t close, because he lost his pair of eyes along with their gray filter on world, and also he lost sight of his solid appearance.

He never has to sleep anymore nor  to wake up.

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Thanks for read it! J  When I finished writing this story I realized it kind of like ‘Coraline’ animation, I didn’t intend to make a similar story even thought it slightly remind me of it. The story based on my experience about ‘dream’(when we asleep). But somehow it turned out to be creepy in this story. 

I think, Coraline is more like a story about another dimension and the evil took a possession on you, while mine more about a lucid dream.

Anyway thank you!

With love,

Nate.