My First Fashion Show

At 25 May 2014, I and some of Kriya Bebs held our fashion show in JFFF event. We collaborated our fashion styles fused into one name called 'Saka Prthivi' it mean Ibu Pertiwi (CMIIW). We focused on ragam hias Nusantara, for me I took ragam hias from tenun Timor because it filled with geometrical pattern which resembles with geometrical pattern from Islamic influenced pattern.

It took me a long time to finally updating this occasion, because the documentation on my work are incomplete (still incomplete now) i keep forgetting to ask my friend the documentation. So I just made the collage from the documentation taken by the JFFF crew, luckily they took quite some pictures of my work but sadly there's no picture of me walked out on the stage with the model :(

JFFF 2014 - Saka Prthivi Collection by Natasya Ameerah

To these day, lot of my friends already walked out from the shell and step by step working on their own paths. Which is cool. I hope i can be on the same line as they're. :)

Now i'm pioneering to make my own mosleema clothing line. 

WISH ME THE BEST LUCK !

With Love,

Natasya Ameerah

Stubborn one.

It's easier to fake a smile rather than letting people see your weakness. 

It's easier to hold your tears and rush out to someone who'll understand, rather than having to explain all over why you cried out of reason.

I wish i would've gone home.

I wish i wasn't there.

But dear God, I can see why..

You're trying to say, 

here goes the fog on your eyes can't you see clearer?

So it's your alarming, 

because i am a stubborn one aren't i?

Yes i can clearly see it, because i hear a sound saying. ' Turn around.'

I see it, how i stay still in wrong and kept says to myself  'Hey, this could be good!'

'...  you ruining yourself, turn around.'

Do i have to decide a title every time i make a post? because i'm not good with title.

Assalamualaikum Wr. wb.

Good evening and what a good timing to neglect my pre-final project report. I suppose to working on my report instead posting a blog, but well, whatever happen, happen.

They said we live in this world only for a moment, as short as a blink of an eye. They said we're all a musafir that pass through this world on our way to another world which will be eternal. 

If that true, and that indeed true. I gladly spend the rest of my day do pray, shalat, and recite Al-Quran. I'll cover myself from head to toe and leaving only my eyes. Because i appreciate what i have and i want to protect it, and only show it to a person who shared me his ribs.

But we all blinded by the luxury our earth offers. If we think more if we seek more, our earth are nothing compared to our universe, thus we'll never get enough of anything from earth.

Speaking of which.. if we only live for a short moment on earth, why bother? Why bother with beautiful clothes, why bother with big house, or an expensive car, why bother exploiting your body?

If you possessed all that, will you bring it to your grave? 

If you possessed a beautiful face will it last when you die? 

Dear me. Why bother?

I sometimes confused, what kind of person will i may be? i used to be so ambitious, i want to be this or that or i want to have this and that. If i don't becoming successful --what will my society say? Until i realized i was tired from pleasing myself, i will never get enough even i get half of the world's treasures.

But still, while we live we have to sought our best! Make the best out of our live based on our need, not our thirst.

Wassalamualaikum, wr. wb.

Natasya.

P.s : I forgot halfway what i wanted to write about, if i remember i might add and edit this post C:

Hijab and CHSI

 Assalamualaikum,

The hottest tv series in this ramadhan month probably,

#catatanhatiseorangistri based on the novel with the same title by Asma Nadia.

   I watched the three episodes of this tv series  because I was enchanted with Dewi Sandra appearances, she looks so pretty. A different kind of pretty than the time when she has not wear a hijab, maybe it’s the makeup or the color choices of the hijab but one thing for sure she looks completely different, grace, and poise. As if her aura illuminated the whole screen (Tv’s screen). 

Why so prettaaayy mba dewi? 

I stopped watch it because I’m tired with the backsounds, it hurts my ears and head, despite the interesting story line and the beautiful Dewi Sandra I decided to not watch it frequently.

   Alongside that I had had a little conversation with my friend, not far from men and cheating. Probably we were talking about #CHSI then continued to this topic, I haven’t married but I am pretty common with this topic, the kind of issue I have to prepare with if soon I married to a man. My friend, once the type who against cheating (which most of the woman does), as I think cheating is common for those who don’t have standard in life or weak in deen.

Whichever reasons are, cheating is non-permitted. Islam taught us to lower our gaze, this also a way to avoid cheating too, right? Whoever follow Islam rules can actually avoid the possible of cheating to happen.

   When we started our conversation, my friend said she can’t be too judgmental to anyone who cheats, because this issue also happened in her family. I replied, that also happened in mine too, but that doesn’t mean I can’t judge them wrong. Speaking of which, Islam also told us (precisely Quran told us) to wear hijab.
I relate the topic of hijab while we talk about cheating, I said to my friend
'Do you know why cheating happen?
It is because the woman’s fault. They’re being flirty. Logically, a cat won’t refuse a salty fish once they offered.'.

A different case may happen if the women are refused to act flirty. In fact,

A woman can’t refuse for being beautiful and (cough) sexy, God made us that way.

A man can’t refuse to look at a pretty woman and enjoy the view.  

A man can’t refuse to fall in love with another woman beside his wife (come on, there are lot of beautiful women out there, we can’t forbid a man to fall in love with beautiful creature.)  

BUT A WOMAN CAN choose to refuse a married man’s love, can’t they? Unless they don’t have any heart and mind to even dare to take away another woman's man. (COME ON there're a lot of men out there, across your workplace, city, and country! Why took away another woman’s? are you that CHEAP missy?)

   I am a woman, but I certainly sure it's the woman  fault if there any cheating cases happen! It's the kind of woman who can’t put hijab in their heart, their mind, their body, their playful voice, their intense touching, and anything that a woman should put a hijab on.

Then again, this is why women have to wear hijab, because women can cause fitnah in world with or without they realized it. Hijab are there to prevent us women, and men to do any further close to sin, as in cheating, zinah, khalwat, etc.

   If there is anyone who admitted it is the man fault who're insisted on cheating with her or insisted to loving her, COME ON. He has a wife! He is committed to death to marry her, why would he want to chase after you but he don’t want to marry you anyway? It's because you gave him a chance! If you reject him on the first place, he’ll simply forget you and come back to his wife again.

Well, the case may occur differently if he come straight to you and say he want to make you his second wife (with his wife's blessing too) and you accept him because you love him as much as he love you. But most of women don’t want to  be in second place even though it’s halal, most of them just want to snatch away other people man.

  In Islam polygamy is halal IF the man can assure he can play fair between the wives, if he can’t be sure then why seeking another woman? Islam always make it easier for us, in a consequence we take full responsibility of our action. 

All above only my opinion, from my point of view. If you have another opinion, please do share.

Thank you,

Wassalamualaikum..

Natasya.

Put on hijab girls, not only physically but also mentally.

When in doubt, what will you do?

Assalamualaikum, 

'When in doubt, read Al-Quran.'

     I try to engrave that quote into my mind and heart, because I find it very true.

Have you ever been so confused? Desperate? You try to search the answer and desperately  typed on google ‘What is my purpose in life?’ or something like that? I have.

I was not in the middle of having big trouble or having problem I can’t bear, or so desperate I want to kill myself. I was simply in a state of losing my purpose in life. I have a dream but, I kept thinking is that what I really want? Is that my goal in life? The thing I once called a dream suddenly appear unimportant and unmotivated enough, thou the biggest fear I have in life is losing a dream. 

Once you living without a dream, is the same as dying. 

At one point I realized, what I need is not just a dream, a big jolly dream means nothing if you have no purpose in life.

Dream is selfish, it’s always about what you want, what you want to be, and what you want to have. To be rich, to be famous, to travel the world, to live luxurious lifestyle. Admit it, this is what dreams are for most people.

I know, there are people dream which is not selfish. They dream of a better world, they dream on send their parents to do hajj, they dream on build a school, or stuff that actually help people. Only big people with big heart dream something like that.

We always say, I will help poor people and do big charity if someday I become rich. Don’t we?

Purpose is, different from dream.

   Human sent to earth must have purpose behind it, Quran says each of us are khalifah on earth.

Isn’t it selfish enough to only focus on your dream while you holding a big purpose in life?
We have been chosen to born on earth, (some of the babies are failed to see the world we live now) we signed a contract with God contained the purpose we agreed to do while on earth.

Some of you discovered what is it, some of us still lost.

Think about it, We came to earth is not for nothing, we born, we live. At least we exist to make some change in a place we live in, Earth. 

   Our purpose may be different, but we all have to worship and pray to God. 
What is it for?
As a reminder for us, so once we have figure out our purpose we won’t get lost again. Also praying connect us to our Maker, this connection will remind us why we live, why we born, why we being put on earth. Once you cut your connection with God, you’ll get lost and start to think life have no meaning at all, because you stop believing in God, and stop believing He made you for a reason.

Please do remember, we stay on earth is as fast as a leaf fall to the ground.
And God did gave you the agreement time for you to use wisely while on earth;
To worship and pray to Him (so you won’t get lost while walking on earth), to always praise Him (so you won’t be dazzled by the luxury world can offer you), to learn, to study, to do good deeds, to help your brother and sister, to do anything that make the world a better place for the next generation, so the generations after you will be so much thankful and send their grateful to you, even after your body become a soil.

   You have to pray, you do, and you must. That is the first thing first you have to do while on earth.

But if you only pray without doing something worth it in your life, if you only wake up from dawn until late at night without doing anything other than pray and praise God, why did you have to be alive anyway? Why God even gave you a solid body that need  to be feed and need to rest half of the day if what He asked you to do is, only to pray and praise Him?

God can just make you an angel that don’t need to eat or to sleep, but beside praying and praising God you know they actually have other job too.

Why God gave you solid body then?
So we can touch the earth,
and we can land on earth.
Jinn don’t have solid body, that was why God made us,

“Ingatlah ketika Tuhanmu berfirman kepada para Malaikat: “Sesungguhnya Aku hendak menjadikan seorang khalifah di muka bumi.” 

   If you read Al-Quran, if you really did, Insha Allah you’ll somehow understand. You don’t even need to read the translation, I come to the thought above after I read Al-Quran without reading the translation, even it’s in Arabic and I don’t understand any of it only the basic words. It was like our mighty God, Allah SWT inspire me the answer I had been searching after I finished read the Al-Quran. (I don’t know if this happen to other people, but is not enough to just read Al-quran without understand it, so if you don’t understand Arabic spend some time to also read the translation.)

That’s probably the proof of miraculous Al-Quran. 

That is why Al-Quran is our guide in life. 

We all have to say thanks, shalawat and salam to our prophet Muhammad SAW for introduced us to Islam as our religion and Al-Quran as our Kitabullah. 

Without him, our generation will never recognize the true God, and human race will lose and doom.

Ask any question, Insha Allah Al-Quran have the answer. Even for something that isn’t happen yet, Al-Quran already recorded it.

---

* Anyway, I want to share a story before I finish this post. 

Recently I took Arabic classes in hope I’ll understand Arabic and understand Al-Quran, and also understand what I am saying while praying. Arabic is essential because Al-Quran written in Arabic, and all of the prayers our Prophet used to say also in Arabic, if we translate it, it may come out differently. I did learn some Arabic vocabulary when I was a kid but of course I completely forgot about it now, still a long way to go but I’ll try my best.

And also what triggered me to learn Al-Quran better was this happen to be a conversation between me and my friend, I was pretty sure what I said to him was half right and he was being stubborn (which of course later I found out he was just completely said irrelevant stuff to avoid admitted he was wrong) in the end of our argument he said something that made me want to throw my shoe hard at his face.

‘You don't read Quran! Try to read more! You know I am right.’

I was mad. Who wouldn't mad if someone said that in front of your face as if he thought you never touched Quran your entire life? who did he think he is? I am a moslem and he is a moslem too, if HE IS a good moslem he wasn't suppose to say that sentence, a sentence that will hurt every moslem heart. 

A sentence that showed how judgmental mind you have. 

To that day, I promise to myself I’ll learn Arabic so I’ll understand Al-Quran without read the translation.

Soon after that conversation, I found out what he was saying was wrong, he spoke as if he never heard of certain ayat of Quran and certain hadists. I wonder why I didn't fight back his argument? Probably to let him said those sentence and those sentence will trigger me to learn more about Al-Quran.

Lesson learned.
You may think you know something more than anyone, or smarter than anyone in your circle.  But don’t be so arrogant, so arrogant you judge people by saying they’re less educated than you are.

.

Don’t be judgmental dear friend, not even God judge us until the judgment day

Phew, It’s a long post.

Wassalamualaikum,

Natasya.

To give in doesn't mean you lose, it may lead to something good in future.

Arti nama (saya)

  

Assalamualaikum wr. wb,

Pertama-tama selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa bagi umat yang beragama Islam semoga amal ibadahnya berkah di bulan Ramadhan ini, Aamiin ya Robbal Alamin..

     Saya lahir dengan nama Natasya Fitriani Putri  pada tanggal 12 maret (tahun nya rahasia ya nanti ketahuan kalau tua hehe). 

Kalau dicari di search engine arti nama saya yang pertama Natasya, yang muncul adalah nama Natasha (bukan Natasya sih karena pasti Natasha lebih umum dan nama saya sering banget ditulisnya Natasha, padahal saya bangga karena nama saya pakai Y bukan H). Artinya adalah ‘born at Christmas’, sejujurnya saya kaget begitu tau arti dari Natasha (bukan Natasya tapi kan mirip) selain karena saya ga ngerayain natal, kelahiran saya juga jauh dari natal malahan saya sebenarnya lahir di malam Idul Fitri loh…. What an irony.

Sewaktu saya kecil dulu saya sering nanya arti nama Natasya, karena dua nama di belakangnya arti nya sudah jelas. Sembari bercanda papa saya sering memberi dua tipe jawaban;

1. Natasya itu singkatan dari Anak dari Taufan dan Sri Anjasmara (ini maksa singkatannya ya)

2. Natasya itu terinspirasi dari Princess Anastasia dari Russia

Sampai akhrinya saya search sendiri di internet arti nama saya, dan akhirnya tahu nama saya tidak sesuai sama diri sendiri dan saya yakin ortu saya pun gatau kalau arti nya born at Christmas :D

Tapi gapapa saya terlanjur suka sama nama saya, dan saya ga niat ganti kecuali kalau nanti diminta pertanggung jawaban di akhirat, lagian nama saya Natasya bukan Natasha.

   Arti nama kedua ini lebih pas untuk menggambarkan kelahiran saya, Fitriani disematkan karena saya lahir dimalam (sebelum) Idul Fitri. Nama ini yang paling islami di nama saya tapi entah kenapa ya mama saya suka nulis di buku SD saya ‘Natasya F Putri’ Fitriani nya disingkat, jadi pas saya masuk SMP itu banyak yang meragukan keislaman saya hehe. Dulu waktu MOS SMP saya belum pakai jilbab, begitu tahun ajaran kelas 1 dimulai saya memutuskan mengenakan jilbab sederhana, temen-temen kelas saya pada komentar 

‘aku kira kamu orang Kristen.’ Atau ‘Aku kira kamu kristen pas ngeliat kamu, dan nama kamu Natasya.’ Aku sempat nanya ‘Memangnya aku ga terlihat seperti orang islam ya?’ mereka dengan polosnya jawab ‘Nggak. Nama kamu juga terdengar Kristen, makanya kita bingung kenapa kamu pakai jilbab.’. 

Awalnya sih saya ga masalah di kira orang Kristen karena nama, toh memang Natasya ga ada unsur islami nya tapi yang bikin saya kaget adalah tampang saya bahkan ga terlihat islami di mata mereka, saya yang saat itu rajin ngaji di TPQ Al - Farohi jadi linglung dengan imej yang ditangkap orang tentang saya.

Setelah itu saya ngecek foto-foto saya sewaktu masih MOS, dan merasa wajah saya tidak menentukan agama tertentu, begitu pula nama saya, Tapi setelah memperhatikan baik-baik sebenarnya saya bisa melihat mengapa banyak yang menyangka saya bukan orang islam, lewat foto saya yang tak berjilbab saya tampak seperti penganut agama lain, hanya saja nama saya memang terdengar Kristen. Jika di pikir saya bersyukur sekali saat itu saya memutuskan memakai jilbab karena itu lah statement saya bahwa saya orang Islam, dan tak akan ada yang salah paham lagi ataupun menjudge apa agama saya.

   Nama yang ketiga adalah Putri, nama terakhir ini artinya sudah jelas yaitu anak perempuan. Tapi entah mengapa dari saya kecil sampai di tahap saya seenaknya menggantikan nama putri dengan ‘Ameerah’ saya tetap menyangka arti nama saya itu kalau di inggriskan adalah ‘princess’ HAHAHA padahal dalam kamus Indonesia bahasa nya princess itu ‘puteri’ bukan putri. 

Saya baru menyadari hal tersebut ketika saya mencari kata putri dalam bahasa Arab (karena putri kurang pas saat ditulis dalam tulisan Arab). Saat pakai translator saya sih spontan ngetik princess di tab English to Arabic dan yang keluar adalah tulisan Ameerah, saat itu saya bingung karena setau saya Ameerah itu arab untuk ratu tapi kayaknya sama aja toh sama-sama wanita kerajaan. 

Nama Ameerah itu menurut saya bagus sekali, sehingga keesokan harinya saya memutuskan untuk mencari  alternatif lain kali itu saya memakai tab Indonesia dan mengetik kata putri saat itulah saya sadar arti nama saya yang sebenarnya (haha) karena yang keluar dalam bahasa arab adalah bintun, dan saya rasa nama tersebut kurang komersil akhirnya saya memutuskan memakai Ameerah saja yang sekalian bagus, biar pemakainya juga jadi bagus beneran (hal ini diragukan).

   Penggantian nama belakang ini sebenarnya bukan benar-benar mengganti nama saya yang asli, tetapi memang pada dasarnya saya suka mengutak-atik nama sendiri, dimulai dari nama panggilan yang diutak-atik dari Natas, Nataz, hingga Nate (yang  baru saya sadari panggilan saya ini nama laki semua loh) yang jelas saya dulu sangat tidak suka dipanggil ‘Tasya’ menurut saya nama Tasya terlalu manisss lagian tiap ada yang sebut tasya, di kepala saya muncul wajahnya Tasya Kamila, jelas saya kebanting kalau manis-manisan sama dia, jadi saya mencetuskan panggilan sendiri agar orang-orang stop manggil saya Tasya.

Selain nama panggilan, yang paling saya suka ganti adalah nama belakang, Cuma nama tengah saja yang tidak pernah mau saya ubah karena identitas Islam saya terletak di nama tengah saya. Nama putri itu pernah saya ganti dengan versi jepang, dan (ya) dalam artian princess juga yaitu ‘Hime’.

Singkatan Natazhime hingga Nathime itu melekat di saya selama SMA dan juga melekat di akun devianArt, blog, dan email. Hingga akhirnya saya bosan dengan jejepangan dan saya merasa saya ga pantas menyandang nama hime HAHA saya melepaskan nama tersebut, tapi ada loh teman saya yang tetap manggil saya Hime…………. Saya senang sih.

   Saya juga ga paham kenapa saya selalu mereferensikan arti nama putri di nama saya itu sebagai princess ya hehe, saya sih tidak berniat untuk mengaku-ngaku tapi saya benar-benar tidak terpikirkan kalau bisa saja ortu saya menyematkan nama putri karena anak pertama mereka lahir sebagai perempuan dan akhirnya mereka memberi nama putri di akhiran untuk menunjukan saya adalah anak perempuan mereka. Tapi, selama ini yang ada di pikiran saya mereka memberi nama putri itu karena bagi mereka saya adalah ‘their little princess’ (haha) apakah sebagai anak saya kepedean?

Penyebab saya yakin nama saya kata lain dari princess itu karena papa saya selalu mengiyakan tiap saya mengganti nama putri dalam berbagai bahasa, Beliau tahu Hime itu artinya Princess dalam bahasa Jepang, waktu saya ingin menggunakan Ameerah pun saya menjelaskan artinya, beliau sangat setuju dan mengatakan nama itu bagus tanpa berkomentar akan kemungkinan saya salah mengartikan kata putri. 

Selain itu beliau selalu mengatakan kalau nama saya Natasya terinspirasi dari Princess Anastasia… Jadi, wajar kalau saya mengira putri artinya princess (padahal saya nya aja yang ga pernah baca kamus) HAHAHA

   Sebenarnya bahasa Indonesia nya princess itu puteri, jadi saya cuma ngaku-ngaku..pardon me, hidup hanya sekali, bung.

Maaf Panjang, Sekian dan Terima Kasih.

Wassalamualaikum wr. wb.,

Natasya.

P.s Please call me with my full name Natasya now, I’m leaving my nickname Nate. :P

 Ramadhan Kareem, ramadhan mubarook.

Between Hijab, Jilbab, Khimar, Niqab, and Burqa.

Good Morning!

Some of us (probably) often confused on how to differentiate Muslim female clothes,consists of; Hijab, Jilbab, Khimar, etc. So here I am going to show some explanation on each function of the hijabs.

Here some sort of information and differences type of Hijab in different countries.

First, 

Hijab -- The term hijab itself in Arabic means 'screen or curtain' and in Quran it refers to a partition. Also refers to the tradisional dress code of Muslim women beyond age of puberty calling for the covering of the entire body except the face and hands. These days, hijab automatically means a veil that covers a head and chest.

Jilbab -- Jilbab in arabic means loose coat or garment that usually wear after the normal clothes (ex.: long sleeves shirt with pants) wear it like wearing a coat. But here in Indonesia, Jilbab refers to a headscarf that covers head.

Abaya is an example of Jilbab

Khimar -- Khimar is a long, and cape like veil that hang down to above the waist and fully covers the hair, neck, chest, shoulders and even stomach, but leave the face clear (uncovered).

Yemeni khimar

Niqab -- (my most favorite hijab, even I don't use one as daily basis :p) in Arabic 'veil, or mask'  piece of cloth that covers whole face except the eyes. The terms of niqab and burqa are often incorrectly used interchangeably; a niqab only covers the face while burqa is covers the whole body from top to toe. There's no explicit explanation in Quran that women should covers their face so wears niqab is sunnah, since wives of Prophet Muhammad were also put hijab all over their body. Based on hadith narrated by Aisha: 'The woman is to bring down her Jilbab from over her head and [then place it] upon her face'.

Traditional Arabian niqab

This, also a niqab even though does not cover the hair

How people in niqab normally look like

And -- Niqab these day ; Stunning!

Burqa -- The burqa covers entire face and body, leaving a mesh screen to see through. 

 Some of these stuff inspired by burqa;

Futuristic burqa, prolly :p

Adam Harvey - Anti-drone burqa

One more, explanation

Chador -- Worn by many Iranian women when outside the house, is a fully body-cloak.

Traditional chador

---

Hope it help!

See you next post,

Natasya.

*All photos credit to Google & Pinterest

Hello again, online diary!

Random picture is random, so it won't be too boring with all texts

Goshhhhh........ I did not change these past two years, didn't I (?) 

I still an unstable college student, still dependent (to almost to everyone). 

Still haven't make any significant progress in my inner life and inner mind.

Still love to wasting time, still lazy, still procrastinating a lot, still sleeps too much and too late.

But i left tea and changed it with coffee. ( i miss you tea, i miss the time we spent together)

But some said, my personality a bit changed (in a good way).

As we are all getting old, and I already 20 this year (duh) goodbye holly jolly molly beautiful teenage days! 

There was nothing frightening me more than stays in one place and never actually moving, when time always moving and left us all behind. (or some of you probably cheat the time).

Let’s pray from today and tomorrow on for those who left ‘teen age’ this year, days will filled with joyous  fun and superficial easywork ((what does that even meeaaann? Hahaha))

Let’s enjoy the years ahead, we probably won’t live too long.. make sure to prays and do good deeds!

For 2013, so long! Bye!

Cheers,

Natasya.

--Oh… (dang) I love to write, why I haven’t write anything back in 2013?

What is Love to me.

What is love?

 I recalled love is the first I opened my eyes and saw my mother smiled, the first time my hand touched her skin. Love is heard my dad cried a little when he held me in his arm, and when he prayed adzan and takbir on my ears.

Depiction of love to my parents are, real and true and will always forever linger in my heart.

Love to the opposite sex? Love for me is complex and stay with you forever. So I suppose to say, I've never been in love (in a context of a lover to be; not in same context with love to brother or family and friends).

Attracted?  Yes.

Love is not easy for me to say. But when I say I love you, I mean it.

Love for me is like growing up, it won’t suddenly show up big at first. It’ll slowly growing and getting bigger if you truly make it work. It won’t happen in one night, it’s like build a house. Slowly and part by part until it fully built. Then you can call it you are in love.

Beside loving my parents, the truest love for me is to fell in love with our creator.
I still in a phase of learn how to completely show my love. Why did I say I fell in love when I supposed to love Him ever since I came to world? Why?

Because for me Love is grow.

When I was a kid I always thought God were so far and too mighty for us human, a slave. (Till I found out there is nothing wrong with a slave fell in love with his rightful owner lol, just kidding) My love as a slave of God growing with nothing magical happened in my life (as in a miracle or somewhat; but I was sick once kind of sickness doctor can’t heal, probably. :p and miraculously I healed after I prayed) just being grateful and knows God always beside me slowly grew a feeling in me (of kinda fell in love).

And yes I was too late, I KNOW!  While everybody are long before I realized, already competing to steal His love and attention.

I actually ashamed of myself even though I says I love him I’m not good with prayers and often misses it and lazy to do it.

And in some occasion I only came for Him when I needed help and needed a place to cry. Because He always there for me and never leave me, even sometimes I neglect Him and forget my duty as His creation.

I just don’t get the way God love works, and I could never repay it. I know. We know. And it makes me deeply sad and regret all of my mistakes I had done. I wish I could truly show Him how grateful I am to have a chance to know to love and to get back to Him again.

Because for me to be in Love is to learning to love, and learning how to truly show your love and how you spend time to take care of your love. How you make your love important and always be a part of your life.

Alhamdulliah for everything ya Allah… You never, even once leaving me, in fact You always pull me back when I run too far.

Some said, fall in love with Allah first then Allah will show you the right person. So, that's how sacred and pure love is...

I don’t know when will come the time I’ll mean to say ‘I love you’.

With love,

Natasya.